The language of mental health, pt. 1

It’s tough not to stumble across mental health talk these days. It seems to be everywhere: TikTok, Instagram, the news, maybe even your dinner table. Normalizing mental health is so important in the process of destigmatizing when we’re struggling. It can also be inspiring when others share the ways they have found to effectively manage their struggles.

The concern? The more ubiquitous mental health language becomes, the more the meaning gets distilled. Misconceptions—and often misuses—of important mental health language have become the norm.

When mental health language is used accurately, it can give people a tool to better understand their experiences. When mental health language is used casually or without understanding the full meaning of the terms, it can act to dismiss the real experiences of others.

So, in this installment, I’m presenting a list of often misunderstood or misused mental health terms and brief clarifications on their uses/meanings. This one will be a two part-er. So, stayed tuned for the second part next week!

If you don’t want to read through, at least consider this takeaway: Diagnoses are for professionals to use with people to whom they do not have a direct connection. Leave it to the pros. Focusing on symptoms we experience, rather than labels, can increase our understanding of what we think and feel.

Toxic

How it’s (mis)used: Referring to people as “toxic” when they behave in a way that is upsetting to us or that we don’t like.

Reality check: Toxic is often a term we use to distance ourselves from people when we don't feel comfortable following through on a boundary we want to set. I talked about it more here. There isn’t a “meant to be used” for this one, unless we’re talking about substances we can ingest.

Substitutions: Try exploring what’s upsetting you about the individual’s behaviors or the dynamic and express that to your supports. Also, consider the boundaries you’d have liked to/want to set.

Abuse

How it’s (mis)used: There’s been a more recent trend of naming any behaviors we don’t like, are hurtful, or that cause discomfort as “abuse.” In some instances, some folks have even started to name attempts at encouraging accountability “abuse.” Abuse is always hurtful, but hurtful behaviors are not always abuse. We are humans and crave other human connection. That also means accepting the inevitability of hurting one another.

Reality check: Abuse is a set of behaviors that restrict or limit another person’s consent or autonomy through various tactics. It can be done emotionally, financially, verbally, and physically (this includes sexual). There are many hurtful behaviors that are not abuse. Our hurt is still valid even when it’s not the result of abuse.

Substitutions: Try owning your emotions (which are valid!). Attempt to focus more on your emotional experience and what you need, instead of the other individual’s behaviors. This will also help clarify boundaries for you in the future.

Trauma

How it’s (mis)used: Any instance in which we experienced a level of emotional upset and/or uncomfortable emotions. (i.e. When I saw a cockroach on the sidewalk, I was traumatized).

Reality check: No one can determine what is traumatic for another person. Trauma is a physiological, emotional, and/or physical reaction to an event that causes us some kind of deep wound. Many times trauma is the outcome of experiences in which we feel powerless to help/take care of ourselves. A marker of trauma can be when we struggle to stop thinking about an event. Some examples might be: surviving a significant weather event, being on the receiving end of abusive behaviors, experiencing a car accident, food insecurity.

Substitutions: Try exploring what’s upsetting you about the situation, behaviors or the dynamic and express those. If your’e struggling to manage your emotions, seek mental health support.

Triggered

How it’s (mis)used: To refer to experiencing discomfort or uncomfortable emotions in reactions to information or an interaction.

How it’s meant to be used: Triggered is a term specific to trauma. It refers to an interaction or information that recreates a trauma response (mentally, emotionally, physically) for an individual. Triggers are often associated with the specific traumatic event (i.e. loud noises triggering veterans of war or someone who has experienced sexual assault dissociating when physical affection is initiated, dissociating when witnessing micro aggressions).

Substitutions: Try exploring the emotions you are experiencing in reaction to an event. Are you sad? Are you angry? Are you uncomfortable with something? Whether it’s trauma or feeling generally upset, it’s ok to seek mental health support.

Depressed

How it’s (mis)used: When referring to brief periods of sadness, when we feel the need to rest, or when we aren’t feeling social.

Reality check: Depression is both a diagnosis and a human emotion. As an emotion, it’s feelings of lasting deep sadness often in response to loss. As a mental health diagnosis, it’s an ongoing (at least 2 weeks) and consistent deep sadness that is impacting our daily functioning.

Substitutions: It’s ok to own that you are sad, not feeling social, and/or need rest. If you do believe you are experiencing depression, seek mental health support.

ADHD

How it’s (mis)used: ADHD is socially used to refer to feeling distractible and even excited.

Reality check: ADHD is a real diagnosis referring to a way in which some folks’ brains process information. Procrastinating isn’t necessarily ADHD, neither are periods of general lack of focus. Sometimes ADHD presents as anxiety and sometimes symptoms of other diagnoses present as how we socially think of ADHD.

Substitutions: Try focusing on the specific thoughts, emotions, behaviors you are experiencing/engaging in. If you do believe you are struggling with focus and motivation, seek mental health support and let them guide any diagnostic process.